We are living in a world where acts of kindness are at a premium. Small acts of kindness can go a long way, but how much is too much? When we think about our time and how precious it is–think of time as a commodity–we begin to realize that time is a gift we should appreciate and protect.
Saying yes to everything can cause you to burn out quickly. It can take you away from spending time, energy and resources on the things that really matter to you.
Respect Your Time
How can you show respect for your time and that of others? Believe it or not, one way is to feel ok with saying “no”. For many of us, saying “no” is so hard. It is a contradiction when we are striving to be kind in a world that really needs it.
Focus on the Bigger Picture and Set Your Boundaries
In “Mindfulness and Focus: Train your brain”, I discuss coming up with your outcomes. Not goals, but outcomes that are meaningful to you. This is a great exercise yielding several benefits including helping you feel more comfortable with saying “no”.
Focusing on your outcomes, and making progress in each of the areas of your life that matter most to you, is a useful tool in measuring whether or not requests from others are in alignment with your desired results.
Steve Jobs once said, “It is only by saying ‘no’ that you can concentrate on things that are really important.”
If non-emergency requests arise that are not in accordance with your outcomes, outcomes such as time with your family and self-care, understand that by politely saying “no” you are giving yourself grace and being true to yourself. Setting these boundaries is healthy for your mind and spirit.
Solve for Peace Tip:
Saying no, with kindness, is a loving way to give yourself grace. It is a way to be respectful of your precious time, energy and/or resources.
Solve for Peace Activity:
When someone makes a request of you, one that will take up a great deal of your time, energy and/or resources, realize this will take away from achieving the outcomes that are most important to you.
See Mindfulness and Focus: Train your Brain for tips on focusing on outcomes in your life.
Before you quickly agree, take a moment, give yourself grace and know that saying “no” is an act of love and a gift to yourself. Your real friends and family will respect this.
Know that you are being true to yourself by setting these boundaries. You will feel better that you can take that time, energy and/or resources and use those to focus on the outcomes that really matter to you.
2 Comments
Dr. Pat Baxter, Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace · December 20, 2020 at 1:51 pm
This blog made me stop and think (a rare moment for me these days!) about remembering we are and always will be accountable for how we use our time (a finite resource to begin with) and how that time is best spent on attaining the outcome one wants and how that outcome can help us attain the peace we crave.
Thanks for this reminder, Joanna!
Joanna Gutierrez Winters · December 20, 2020 at 3:13 pm
Yes! Thank you for your comments, Dr. Baxter! Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our world and, unintentionally, forget to value the precious gift of time. I’m so glad you enjoyed it!